Almost Adulting: 23 Lessons I Learned in 23 Years

There’s a lot I’ve experienced in this short lie I have lived. It blows my mind how quickly time passes and the moments we make fade into memories so easily. I don’t have all the answers and I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes and I’ll probably make a lot more, because that’s just part of growing up right?

Receipts are important – you think they’re useless but be weary of places trying to overcharge. Also strangely enough when you’re looking at bank charges – businesses can show up with a  different name than on their receipt.

Look at your bank account – often. Weekly.  –  found out the hard way how on top of this I should be.  You think you’re getting paid and you’re not or you’re getting paid the wrong amount. You cancel a membership but keep getting charged – check that shit out!

Not all family is blood– This is a two parter.  You may be blood related to someone and know nothing about them, their basically strangers yet you’re supposed to have some unbreakable bond. I don’t put stock into just being related to someone. Along the way you find people that have stuck around for years and resonate with you so deeply that you’re bond vibes with the soul.

Quality over quantity – this applies for more than clothing! It’s a general guideline that proves to be true in a lot more categories in life than I thought. When buying food, putting on perfume or make up, and filling in your eyebrows. Think of the quality of the object, your time, and most especially the people you have in your life. You don’t need everyone to know you, or hang out with 100 people at once. Have a few solid relationships and everything will be fine.  Trust me.

Boys (or girls) will come and go – Relationships are hard work. Committing to a date is exhausting. Texting is nerve racking. Sometimes things aren’t forever, sometimes they only last a few weeks or a few months. It’s not about forever, it’s about being who you are and enjoying the moment. It’s about learning when to say goodbye and hello. I think the whole dating thing is actually finding out more about yourself and who you are than about being in an actual relationship.

Buy the shoes – there’s always something that stopped me buying something. Not enough time, money, or resources – this applies to more than just a pair of shoes.  It’s applicable to how you live your life. You will make more money; invest in something that makes you happy. Buy the damn shoes and treat yo’ self.

Mental health is super important – plot twist, sometimes things get too real too fast. Life doesn’t work out the way you thought it would, you’re fired, you fail, a loved one dies, bad things start to wear you down. It effects each of us differently, but you need to show your mind and heart some TLC because you will feel it at some point. Take care of it now, in any way you can. Whether it be talking it out with a therapist or going on medicine. You need to confront what’s going on in the inside.

Not everyone will like you – you won’t like everyone, even if they’re super nice. Guess what, it’s super ok and normal. You do however, need to be cordial. Which is what humans do and it’s normal! The world won’t stop spinning because someone doesn’t like you or you don’t like someone. So button up those big girl pants because it’s going to be a whirlwind. People do not determine your worth, you do.

You are who you want to be – you are not where you came from. You do not have to live in the past and feel chained down because of it. Each day is a new day to do something different. To live your truth and walk a path that you find best for you. We all have different lives and are trying to make it in our own way. Do not bend, or mold yourself as if you are a piece of clay. Not everyone has to know your story and you don’t have to give one.  Live by your actions and have them be the teaching tools for those who hold prejudice.

Lather on that sunblock –  this sounds like a ridiculous lesson but it’s true. No one likes sunburn. You might have this idea that’s its ok to burn because it (might) will turn into a tan. Protect your skin because you will regret that red irritate flesh as soon as it happens! Ruined vacation photos are the worst but what’s the real horror is getting skin cancer.

Say I love you – to family and friends when you feel it. If you feel the warm and fuzzies in your soul, you should let the world know it. Brighten up someone’s day because you don’t know how much it will mean to them.

Practice learning another language – it will come in handy! Not only will it benefit you when you’re traveling, it’s fun! It opens up new doors for talking to people and knowing another language is a great way to work out the brain. If speaking another language is too intimidating, there’s the non-verbal form of Sign Language.

Smile more- smiling makes you happier. True story. When you’re feeling shitty and you’re in a permanent sour mood, just try smiling. After a few times of this forced smile, you will gradually feel better.

Travel when you’re young – I’m young and don’t have a ton of responsibilities like a mortgage, kids, career those little things that chain a person to one place for a long period of time. I have a lot of loans but I rather have that then a withering life of regret. Being young, you get to act a little foolish. Have too much to drink, be spontaneous and take a trip to another country or city, binge eat, dance with everyone and be embarrassing. Things change when you get older, people become more judgmental and so do you.

Homework doesn’t end – you have to put time and research into so many other things! Like buying a blender, laptop, car…basically anything you want to buy. You have to look up info and take notes because you want to spend money wisely. Especially for vacations.

Making plans is hard – Getting together with people isn’t as easy as it was. You double book, forget you made the plans to start with, or are too tired to even do something you just want to watch a movie and eat Chinese food. Even making plans for you, such as going to the gym or doing yoga. You just want to lounge and have a “do-nothing day”

Date around – it sounds awkward to say but it’s true. You think you’ll be with that guy in high school for foreverrr but then reality hits and forever really is just a few months. Sometimes you don’t need someone in your life as long as you think you might. Feelings change, not only theirs but yours.  It’s not the same forever one but it’s the truth for many. When I got my first serious boyfriend my grandfather gawked at my choice and I swear said, “You’ll get another one, he won’t be the last”. He was seriously unimpressed and I just stared, speechless and mindbogled. Thanks, gramps.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side – I remember thinking when I was younger that, if I went to FIT all my problems would be fixed or if I had this one thing then it would make life way easier. Having something in your possession or changing your lifestyle doesn’t automatically make everything better; you just have a different perspective. This statement varies but basically you learn that what you thought you might want isn’t really what it’s cracked up to be.

Some friends are for a season and some are for a reason – This speaks volumes.  This is similar to some of my other statements but keep this in mind. People will teach you a number of things over the years. Some stick around and some fade out of your life. It happens and life goes on, you learn from it and see that it actually did work out for the best.

Stop lending out money  – I wish Iearned this sooner. It’s the most uncomfortable and awkward situation to be in. It also adds an insane amount off stress you don’t need in your life so one way to avoid it – stop giving it out. Draw a line if you can’t help it, you’re max is $20 and that’s it.

People do not determine your worth – you do. This isn’t me saying put a price on your self, this is me saying know your worth. Know that you are exceptional and growing. You do not lose value as if you are a used car sitting in the lot. You do not gain value by changing yourself for others or fitting into their standards. 

Live it up! There’s this whole idea that you’re supposed to graduate high school, go to college, then go directly into the work force and barely take a vacation. You don’t exist for the sole purpose of working, you exist to experience things – so go out an experience them! Be passionate about each day and whatever you do. Being a robot and living a life you’re settling for is not on the agenda. Enjoy the little things where you can, be thankful, be present, be in the here and now.

Forgive – even when you don’t know how. Holding a grudge is something I’m good at but over the years I learned to simmer down my hate or annoyance for situations that I should not have had to go through.  I don’t mean to wear out this saying but forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for you. It’s so you can live your life, it’s so you can let them fade into non-existence and carry on being the badass you are.